My Journey with Music and Spirituality
My Journey with Spirituality
I am often asked how my path to spirituality began and when I started singing spiritual songs.
But is spirituality something we have to find, or are we inherently spiritual? Aren’t we born of spirit, of something non-material that breathes life into us all? Isn’t everything we really want intangible? Love cannot be measured nor their existence proved by science, but we can experience it when we open our hearts. Isn’t the unifying, healing power of love the very essence of being human?
However, we were hardly taught to love, honor and respect ourselves at school. Nor did we learn about the holy trinity of body, mind and soul. Nor did we learn to meditate and connect with the greater part of ourselves – our sacred essence, our soul, the power of the earth and the cosmos which are a part of us. Today I realize that most of us lacked this awareness at home and at school. The limited view of mankind that we have been taught has left many wounds in us. For me, these misperceptions are very clearly reflected in the outside world, in how we treat each other and other living beings. This moved me to devote myself even more to this inquiry.
I know that I am not the only one who feels that it is time to return to our true identity as valuable, loving human beings. This is an inner process. When we know we have all we seek inside, we can share our gifts and celebrate life together. The transcendent and unifying force of music can lead us to deeper awareness of ourselves and of our common humanity.
As a little girl, I used to sing whatever I was feeling. Every time I was immersed in music, a deeper perception, an “inner world”, opened up to me. A world of a parallel reality, where peace was palpable. This seemed completely beyond my everyday life. I felt a longing, even at a young age, to share this beautiful world with others.
I sing about this experience in my songs “Not of this world” (Nicht von dieser Welt) and “I am more than my body” on the album: “It’s All in Me” (Alles ist in mir). The songs “One Source”, “Divine” and “Angels” on the album “Healing Inspiration” also describe this spiritual reality. I have found that being at peace with myself means accepting and integrating all my feelings and experiences so that they are brought to harmony. These life experiences are the basis of my songs.
My Journey with Music
When people ask me how long I’ve been singing, I sometimes smile and say “since birth”. It feels as if the music came into the world with me.
I made up and sang my first song at age three. From age five, my greatest dream was to play the piano. For years, “piano” was the only word on my Christmas and birthday wish lists. There was a kind of parallel world inside me, in which I was already playing beautifully – a clear vision of my future. So I didn’t understand why my parents kept saying that a piano was so expensive as to be out of the question. For me, it was a fact that I was going to play the piano. It was so real, so innate, that no one could dissuade me.
I loved singing in the children’s choir, but I yearned for that piano! Almost as though I knew I would need to play piano when I composed my songs later on. When I turned ten, my father happened to meet a “stranger” who miraculously had a piano I could have. I still remember the men carrying my piano up the six flights of stairs for the promise of a meal with meat, a rare commodity behind the Iron Curtain. From then on, I spent all my time practicing and singing on the instrument I had so long dreamed of.
Three years later, my family undertook the risky escape to the west. My treasured piano had to be left behind. We finally arrived in Germany with just two suitcases. I went to Caritas week after week and said: “I need a piano” – one of my first sentences in German. I drew the piano keys and practiced them on a table. I was finally given an accordion which I played as I sang for the often traumatized refugees in the camp.
When their eyes lit up and their sadness faded, I began to realize that I could share and increase the love I felt when I performed music. Throughout my life, I have seen the healing effect of music not only on myself, but also on others.
Exploring this unifying, transformative aspect of music has been my life’s passion. At some point I realized it is not merely the notes that touch us deeply, but the melding of our common human experience with the Spirit within us that resonates, as we remember that we are all part of something much greater.